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Copyrighted by A. J. Fisher, 24 Vesey street, New York, 1879. 

Suspicion and Simplicity. 

SENSATIONAL COMEDY SKETCH. 

BY SAUL SKKTREW. 
CHARACTERS. 

Lady. Gent. 

SCENE — A drawing room. JVindozv in flat with blinds to 
open and shut. Table L. id E., with books, newspaper and 
vase for flowers; chairs A', and L.; door L. 3d E. Enter 
Lady id E. /,.. with boquet of 'flowers in her hand; places 
flowers in vase on table, and arranges books. 

Lai>v — Well, I am sure I have nothing to complain ot so 
far in my married life ; my husband is a dear, kind, good- 
'-ed fellow, and I do love him so. Now I think of it, he 
is a trifle jealous at times • but then I suppose all men are 
more or less so. I do everything I can to please him, and I 
do think he is the charmingest little fellow in the whole 
world He said he should be home early, so I shall look out 
of the window and watch for him. (Goes to window and 
looks out.) There he is coming down the street ; I'll wave 
my handkerchief to attract his attention. I'll throw him a 
kiss, too. He is coming up-stairs. (Waves handkerchief.) 

Enter Gent. 

Gent (aside) — I thought as much ; my own eyes couldn't 
be deceived. I have caught her in the very act itself. Oh, 
that we should call these fair creatures ours and not their 
appetites'. 

LADY — What is that, my dear ; did you say you had a good 
appetite? 

Gent — Woman ! what were you doing at that window 
when I entered? Don't deny it. I saw you winking and 



throwing kisses at that ugly old curmudgeon opposite ; I saw 
you with these eyes, madam ! 

Lady — Now, my dear, be calm ; I was only waving my 
handkerchief to you, that's all. 

Gent — Madam, you're a falsehood ; I mean that's a false- 
hood ! Why should deceit dwell in such a fair form ? 

Lady — You ought to be ashamed of yourself to accuse 
your own wedded wife of such a thing. I'll go back to my 
mother this very hour, there. (Cries.) I'll go to Indiana ; 
I'll — I'll go to Salt Lake ; I'll go now, I will. (Preparing 
to go.) 

Gent — Madam, this is a scheme, a plot ! You are going 
to meet the fellow across the way. (Strides up and down.) 
I'll have his blood, blood ! Iago, blood ! 

Lady — I shan't go ! I'll stay here if that will please you. 
Come, don't be angry with me ; I have done nothing to make 
you jealous. Let me ring and have our supper brought in 
here, and we will have such a cozy nice evening together. 
Won't you, my dear ? (Caresses him.) 

Gent — Ah, my darling, who can be angry with you long ? 
(They embrace.) 

Lady — Now sit down, dear, and we'll have such a nice 
time. 

Gent (takes chair) — Now, I won't quarrel any more, my 
dear. I'll be a good boy, and we'll be so happy. 

Lady — Yes, my duck ; won't we get along nicely now ? I'll 
just close the blinds and then we'll have supper, and every- 
thing will be so nice. (Closes blinds.) 

Gent (jumps up) — Ah, what is the meaning of that? By 
the dogs, it is a signal ! There is some ill brewing against 
my rest. Woman, come here ! Don't deny it ! I'm con- 
vinced, whatever you may say to the contrary, that your doss- 
ing those blinds was only a signal, madam ! (Walks furiously 
up and down.) Yes, madam ! 

Lady — Oh dear, you wrong me ; indeed you do. I am 



innocent. Why can't I ever close a window or look out of 
one but I must be suspected? 

Gent — Madam, I believe that you have a plot against my 
life. But I'll prevent its execution. There, ma'm, there ! 
(overturns chairs) there ! 

Lady — Sir, you accuse me wrongfully ! I am innocent ! I 
shall leave your house immediately ! (Going.) 

Gent — Stay ! (Aside — After all, I may have been too 
rash.) Darling, forgive me ; the fact is, I am almost out of 
my head. Come, sit down. There, let's make it all up. 
(They sit.) 

Lady — Now, dear, I'm so glad you've got over your tan- 
trums. 

Gent — Darling, get me the Herald from the table, won't 
you? 

Lady — (gives paper) — Certainly, my pet. 

Gent (reading) — Let me see — Marriages, Divorces, Dogs 
Lost and Found, Stocks, Babies for Adoption, Criminal Intel- 
ligence, Personals — Ah, what do I see? Now, by heaven ; I 
would not this believe but for the sensible avouch of mine 
own eyesight ! 

Lady — What is it, dear? 

Gent — False woman ! Hark ! (Reads.) " Lady in blue, 
meet me to-night; don't forget. 'Barkis is willin';' you 
know how it is yourself." 

Lady — Well, my love, I see nothing in that to cause you 
uneasiness. 

Gent — Madam, you dress in blue ! 

Lady — I do. 

Gent (draws her mysteriously to the footlights) — Madam, I 
suspect you ! T'd rather be a dog than live in this torment ! 
On horror's head horrors accumulate. 

Lady — Let me be ! 

Gent — Swear you are true to your Adolphus ! 

Lady — I do ! I am like the snow ! 

Gent — Oh, torment ! shall I forgive her? I shall ; I think 



4 



I am a trifle too suspicious ; and she is so ir.nocent and con- 
fiding, I can't believe her untrue. Are there not more blue 
dresses than one in the world ? 

LADY — You ought to be ashamed to put any faith in those 
naughty "Personals." 

Gent — Come to my heart, this once, and we shall never 
have one word in anger again. There ! I promise to be the 
best of husbands. 

Lady — Won't you ever be jealous again ? 

Gent — Never ! I swear. 

Lady (offering her lips) — Now kiss the book, and I'll be- 
lieve you. 

Gent (kissing) — I'm the happiest fellow alive ! 

Lady — I hate suspicion. (A duet, or the song " Kiss and 
Make Up," can be introduced here.) 

Gent — Now, my dear, we have made it all up, and I think 
the best thing to do is to have a nice little supper and a pleas- 
ant tete a tete. I'll go and order supper. We won't disturb 
the servants, it's. so late. At the same time I'll get a bottle of 
wine to revive my drooping spirits. 

Lady — Very well, my sweet ; I'll content myself till your 
return. 

Gent — Ati revoii- ! [Exit. 

Lady — What a foolish fellow ! But I think he's good- 
hearted and means well ! Oh, if I could only cure him of 
this jealousy ! I have it ! I'll go and get his cloak and per- 
sonate the old curmudgeon across the way, and find out really 
if he is jealous or not ! (She goes outside and sings in a 
changed voice the following song, as if under the window 
some one is serenading her) : 

Come, oh, come with me, 

The moon is beaming ; 
All around the house 

The cats are screaming. 
Hasten, darling one, 

My sweetest dove, 
Moonlight hours are made for love. 



5 

Enter Gent, with basket of refreshments. Goes to table and 
places basket thereon. 

Gent — Now, my love, I've brought a nice supper. (Hears 
singing outside. Listens.) I wonder what and who that is ! 
(Goes to window listens, and returns.) Ah, by heavens ' 
Now I am satisfied ! (Looks at basket.) Avaunt and quit 
my sight ! There is no speculation in those eyes : (Throws 
basket aside.) Woman, thou art a falsehood ! (Goes to win- 
dow.) Who is that serenading her right under my very nose ? 
(Turns from window, as if to address some one.) Where is 
the handkerchief I gave you ? (Discovers she has gone.) No 
one here ! (Looks about.) Ah she's gone to meet that old 
curmudgeon across the street ! (Walks up and down.) Now, 
by St. Paul, the work goes bravely on ! I'll cross the de- 
stroyer of my peace though Hades itself should gape. Yes. 
it's that old curmudgeon serenading her beneath my very 
nose. Oh. would that he were here ! I'd tear him all to 
pieces. (Strides up and down) as 

Enter Lady ; disguised as a man. Wears a large cloak over 
her ires i and slouch hat. Has a cane in her hand, and 
t strikes the floor with cane as she enters. 

Lady — I am here (walks dignifiedly), and you are the very 
man I've been longing to see. I'll have you understand, sir 
you shall not call me an old curmudgeon, and I want satisfac- 
tion, sir ; satisfaction, sir ! (Walks up and down as if in a 
rage, and strikes floor with cane.) Pistols or broad swords ! 
Choose your weapons ! 

Gent (alarmed) — But, sir. I never shot a pistol oft* in my 
life, unci my wife would die if she knew I was going to fight 
■ duel ! 

Lady — Your wife, sir, has departed this life ere this — per- 
haps now is food for the fishes ! 

Gent (horrified) — My wife departed this life ! What do 
you mean, sir' I don't understand you ! 



6 

Lady — You have driven her to desperation by your inces- 
sant jealousy ; and, full of grief and despair, she has ended 
her misery by throwing herself into the river ! 

Gent (amazed) — My wife destroyed herself? Impossible ! 

Lady (hands note) — Read for yourself. This note was 
found pinned to her shawl, which was picked up by a boat- 
man on the beach. 

Gent (reads note nervously) — Yes, this is the handwriting 
of my wife. (Starts.) And what is this I read ! (Reads 
aloud.) " Your conduct toward me has been unbearable. I 
could not endure it any longer. Your incessant jealousy has 
driven me to desperation, and to end my misery I have thrown 
myself" — (Drop: note and staggers to a chair. ( Oh, I can 
read no further ! My eyes fail me, my head swims around, 
and I feei as if I should go mad > And I have been the cause 
of her committing this rash act ■ Yes, I have driven her from 
me by my horrible jealousy ! I have killed her ! I have 
murdered her I Oh I shall go mad ! (Bows his head in his 
hand.) 

Lady — Ah there are some men in this world that nevex 
appreciate the worth of a good and loving wife until she has 
gone. 

Gent (appealingly) — Oh, sir, do you think she has really 
thrown herself in the river ? Oh, give me one spark of hope ! 
Is there no possibility that there may be some mistake, and 
she has not committed this rash act ? Oh, I do love her so ! 
I could not live without her ! 

Lady — There is no doubt, sir, but that she has consigned 
herself to a watery grave. 

Gent — And perhaps now her body may be floating out 
with the tide — far, far out to sea, and I shall never see her 
again ! Oh, if she were only here once more sitting in her 
little chair and her sweet far-e beaming on me, I'd never say 
an angry word to her, or ever be jealous again ! 

Lady (aside) — Oh, I can't stand this much longer. I'll 



have to make myself known. I never knew he loved me so 
much. 

Gent (strides up and down) — Oh, why do I stop here when 
I should be in search of her ! Yes, I will go in search of my 
darling, and if I should not find her I will throw myself into 
the river and join her in that watery grave ! (Going off.) 

LADY (aside and alarmed — Oh mercy, he will do something 
desperate ; I must make myself known, No. not yet, he is 
too much excited, he might kill me for this deception.) Stay, 
rash man ; it is useless to go in search of her ; she is far 
beyond your reach. Becalm and compose yourself; do not 
mourn for a woman that would so cruelly desert her husband 
and disgrace her family name by committing that unpardon- 
able act called suicide. There are other women in this world 
far better than she. Come, calm yourself ; cheer up, let her 
go ; she is not worth all this grief. 

Gent (angry) — What, do you mean to insult me, sir, by 
speaking so light of my wife. I love her better than my own 
life, and I will not take a word against her from any man. 
Come, sir, I refused to fight when you entered, I now insist 
upon it. Come, where are your pistols ? 

Lady — I have none. 

Gent (going off) — Then I will procure them. 

[Exit hurriedly. 

LADY (alarmed) — Oh mercy, I will he murdered if I do not 
make myself known to him, and perhaps if I should he may 
kill me for this deception. Oh, I am satisfied that he loves 
me. I must, I will make myself known at all hazard. I hear 
his footsteps, he is coming. (Throws her disguise aside, takes 
book from table and sits in chair, facing audience, as if 
reading.) 

Enter Gent, brandishing pistols. 

Gent — I have procured the pistols ; now I will lock the 
doors and prevent all intrusion. (Goes to doors as if locking 
them.) 



8 

Lady (very much alarmed) — Oh, I wonder if the pistols 
are loaded ? Oh, mercy, what shall I do ? I will be mur- 
dered in cold blood ! 

Gent (comes forward quickly, holding out pistols) — Now, 
?ir, I am ready, and here are the pistols ; choose for yourself. 
(Stops suddenly and looks astonished.) Gone, not here ! and 
oh, horror, what is this, what do I see before me ? In place 
of a man I behold a woman, and she — my wife ! No, (trem- 
bling all over) it's a ghost ! (drops pistols) It's a ghost, it's 
her ghost, come to rebuke me for my cruelty. Oh, horrors, I 
shall go mad ! this apparition will drive me insane ! I will 
end my misery at once ; I will blow my brains out now. 
(Suddenty picks up pistol and points it at his head. She 
screams. He drops pistol and stands amazed.) Oh, what do 
I hear, the voice of my wife ! (She drops book and faints ; 
he runs to her.) Yes it is, my darling wife, and alive to me 
once more ! (Falls on his knees.) Oh, speak to me, speak to 
me, my darling wife ! Oh, forgive me ; forgive me ; I will 
never be jealous or cause you sorrow again ! Oh, say that 
you will forgive me ? let me hear thy sweet voice once more ! 
(Feels of her hand ; starts suddenly.) Oh, heavens, her hand 
is cold as ice ; oh, she is dead ! 

Lady (jumps up suddenly) — No, I am alive and kicking ! 

Gent (delighted) — Oh, my wife ; my darling wife ! (They 
embrace.) Oh, is this a dream, or what does it mean ? 

Lady — Yes, it's a dream, and I'll tell you all about it in 
my song. (Both sing duet.) 

"DON'T BE JEALOUS, DARLING." 
Air : " Don't Get Weary." 

Curtain. 



DIMXI SONG BOOKS 



i illy Vnrden. 

:i. Johnny Wlld'i I >:»t Settl 

u ade, 

i'.. Harrigan A I In I 

Behind tli.- i' 

in. M 
II. Fo; 

11. M mi'. 

rniic. 

15. \V i 

16. Johnny i ild. 

17. 1 want tn go Home to Mama, 
is. Luke Scli. 

19. Billy Cottou'i Old Ilia. I 

lehantv .*; II 
81. BtllleA Ma Hi! Log Cabin. 

Vudrew'i Watei Melon Mm. 

mny when you Feel, Ac. 
•.'4. Harrigan A Hart'i Mil 1 1 loan Guards. 
85. Walton and Morton 'i My Gal. 
'.'ii. Billy ' .' Banjo Solo. 

:''•. Johnson >v Power's Little Moke. 

88. Jens. 

ol tin- Hat. 

50. Freeman Sisters' On Board the Mary I 

51. Jennie Hughes 1 I Shonld I.H. 
38. Woman** Temperance. 

Hams' Belle of the Ball. 
:i4. The Fielding*' Tlppprary Couple. 
I ! irrigan A Hart'i Tom Coll 
Id .v Bradlej 
87. Larry Tooley's Bounelug Dutchman. 
38. Harrigan .v. Hart'i Regular Army . 

89. Ain't you Awful. 

40. Harrigan A Hart'i Patrlok'i Day Parade. 
-II. Arnold Brnthei ind Dunce. 

4.'. Diamond A Ryan'i Irish Hod Can 

irrigan & Hart'i Mulligan Grd*(94 An. Prde) 
44. Band ford A Wilson's Musical Mokes. 

46, Harrigan .v Hart'i Skldiuore Guards. 

4'i. Hills Conrtwrighi'i Flewy, Flewy, Flewy Sngstr 

47. Harper A Stanslll'i One Legged Songster. 

KSter. 

60. Jenny Moi 

61. Foy Sister* Mr. and Mrs. Thompson. 
bj. Wil.l A Bradley Theatre Coinique. 

lice Harrison s Olympic. 
:i4. Billy Carter's Champion Banjo. 

i udemui .Inlmson. 
">6. Alice Bennett's Laughing 

mil Dance. 
53. Harrigan .v. Hart shrate. 

i "-. ,1. L. Tbaver's Laugh and Grow Fat, Ac. 
- lerldan .v. Mack's Knocking on d« < rutslde, Ac. 
61. Harrigan A Hart's Gallant 69th. 

I mi iii the Kitchen. 

the South. 
iliu Howard's Dramatic. 
i Dat Is' Dutch Song ami Dance, 
lohnson A Brui donla Nigs. 

r.7. Sun 

■ r O'Mallev. 
■ rijj-nn ,v Hart'H Blue and Gray. 

70. Harper A Stan-ill's Sweet Jum 

71. Ada Richmond's Wait Till Moonlight Fal 

Rellly Vou're V '•. 
■ ii the Lake. 

v Hart'i Hllilebraud Montrose. 

Ul.-n. Smith .v Waldron. 

m. w Vow. 

\ n. Tram, W i ii ,v Blrdne. 

', our Collar 





87. Tin' Brail h tracti i 

i 
te Fielding 5 ! New ^ nrk. 
'.hi. Winuett't Coy e In Broken Get 
in Martln'i < me Leg 
mie Lindsay's Style of the 
! ginla Stlckney's Fai 
9 1. Hamgan >v Hart's Tbi 

ombination, 
ndldato for Al< 
H7. Frank Lewis' Hurrah fi 

98. Will V"n Love Me When I'm 

99. John Rellly's The Way I Mai 
imp. Billy Pastor's Star Traveling. 
101, H.Osborne's A F.Wentwortu 

108. Johnson .v Bruno'i Just from 

in Ion .V Trunin's lri-limeii I 
in l. Foy Sisters' Branigan Hand. 

irrigan A Hart's S. 0. T. 
lnti. Nile.- .v Evans' Two Love Le 
107. Arnold Brothers' Triple Clog, 
ins. Kirk iV. Drew's Mischievous < ■. ■ j. .... 

109. Sam Devere'e A Lean Banana. 

110. Harry Braham's Silly Hill and I 

1 11. Seaman <v Cronln'i Poor, hut a Gentleman Still. 

118, Harrigan A Hurl's Shivery D 

118. Dlek Sands' Irish Character 

114. Bryant A Williams' Slender t 

116. Lizzie Braham's Sweet I 

116. Delehanty A llengler's lie-unit. 

117 Murray's < Hd and Young. 

lis. Frank Lewis' Motto Sonj 

11". Harrigan .v Hart's Gliding Down thi 

180. Harrigan iV Hart, Walking for del ' 

181. Jeppe and Fanny Delano's Love at I- 
198. Clara Moure'. Character and Descriptive, 
193. Will Morton's Behind the See 

P.-4. Kelly A Ryan's Bards of Tara. 
186. Bran New Big Four. 

186. Cool Burgess Don't Get Weary. 

187. Seanlan A Cronin. Dundreary O'Donnell. 
l.'s. James D Roomes' Fashionaldi 

189. Lvdia Thompson's On the Strict Q. T. 
ISO. The Peasleys' O'Rielleys' Raffle. 
181. Girard Brothers' Dancing in the Sunlight. 
138. Harrigan ,y Hart's Sunday Night whi 

ii>. Konollman's New York Variety. 
134. Sheehan A .limes' Man of Edui 
I - Diamond's Milanese Mill 
186. The Murdoch's Don't Von Do It. 
1.17. Will. II. Trimble's Specially. 

188. The Bennett's Kitchen Domestic. 

189. V. Lewis's Remember you have Children, Ac 

140. Larry Tooley's Mutton Vie. 

141. Harry Woodson's Gwine Hack to D 

143, Harrigan A Hart's Front Stoop. 
148. The McKee'l Dancing in the Barn. 

144. Worden A Mack's Little Ruby 

Dodge'i Don't take any N 

ver A Kelly's Buck I 

lianty A Hengler'i Strawberries and Cream. 
14s. Fii Ids .v. Hoey Musical Sougi 

1 19. Whoa Enuua 

1M, Hairy Montague's At it Again. 
161. Harry Bennett's Charlev Fivnn, 
168. Tim t he a "Baby. 

163. Harrigan .V. Hart'. Isle de Black Well, 

liby Newcomb's Swi 
166, II. Osborne A F. Wentw 

166. Duncan Sisters' Down in the Mead 

167. Andy and Annie Hughes Hap] 

• it McKay's Smee der Band was Broken ui>. 
W ill II Morton's America'. ' 

160, .1. K Einmet'a Lullaliv. 

161, Pat Roonev'i Day I I'i •>■■ 

. .n ,v Winers' Hap. m the So, 

Popular Soi 
nation. 
Day I Walked O'Lei 
lf>8. Harlow Brothers' Cabin I 
167. II irrigan & Hart'i Sucl 

inty .v Hengli ,„.., 

l«9. Jennie Hughe 

170. Go« A Fox Jul. 

171. Flora Moore'.. Just (u - 
■v Shelter's !■ 



A. J. FISHER, PUBLISHER, 24 VESEY STREET, N. Y. 



